a-yellin',     "Three cheers fer the minister's wife!"  

 

 

     THE VILLAGE ORACLE 

  "I am Sir Oracle, and when I ope my lips let no dog bark!"  

  Old Dan'l Hanks he says this town Is jest the best on earth; He says there ain't one, up nor down, That's got one half her worth; He says there ain't no other state That's good as ourn, nor near; And all the folks that's good and great Is settled right 'round here. Says I "D'jer ever travel, Dan?"           "You bet I ain't!" says he;         "I tell you what! the place I've got Is good enough fer me!"    He says the other party's fools,     'Cause they don't vote his way; He says the "feeble-minded schools"     Is where they ought ter stay; If he was law their mouths he'd shut, Or blow 'em all ter smash; He says their platform's nawthin' but A great big mess of trash. Says I, "D'jer ever read it, Dan?"           "You bet I ain't!" says he;         "And when I do; well, I tell you, I'll let you know, by gee!"    He says that all religion's wrong     'Cept jest what he believes; He says them ministers belong In jail, the same as thieves; He says they take the blessed Word And tear it all ter shreds; He says their preachin's jest absurd; They're simply leatherheads. Says I, "D'jer ever hear 'em, Dan?"           "You bet I ain't!" says he;         "I'd never go ter hear 'em; no; They make me sick ter see!"    Some fellers reckon, more or less, Before they speak their mind, And sometimes calkerlate or guess,—     But them ain't Dan'l's kind. The Lord knows all things, great or small, With doubt he's never vexed; He, in his wisdom, knows it all,—     But Dan'l Hanks comes next. Says I, "How d' yer know you're right?"            "How do I know?" says he;         "Well, now, I vum! I know, by gum! I'm right because I be!"  

 

     THE TIN PEDDLER 

  Jason White has come ter town Drivin' his tin peddler's cart, Pans a-bangin' up an' down Like they'd tear theirselves apart;   

 Prev. P 23/61 next