be sayin', ut was safe Ter say that aich ixpansionist was jist a murth'rin thafe; And, whin I saw big Mack turn rid, and shtart ter lave his sate, Oi knew we 'd have a gor-r-geous toime at our big j'int debate. Thin Moike he tuk his tur-r-n ter shpake, "Av Oi wance laid me hand,"   Says he, "upon an 'Anti,' faith! Oi'd make his nose ixpand; Oi 'd face the schnakin' blackguar-r-d, and Oi'd baste him where he shtood. Oi'd annix him to a graveyard, so Oi would, so Oi would!"   Thin up jumped Dan O'Hoolihan a-roar-r-in' out "Yez loie!"   And flung his b'aver hat at Mack, and plunked him in the eye; And Moike he niver shtopped ter talk, but grappled wid him straight, And the ar-r-gymint got loively thin, at our big j'int debate. Oi niver in me loife have seen sich char-r-min' illycution, The gistures av thim wid their fists was grand in ixecution; We tried to be impar-r-tial, so no favoroite we made, But jist sicked them on tergither, yis indade, yis indade. And nayther wan was half convinced whin Sar-r-gint Leary came, Wid near a dozen other cops, and stopped the purty game; But niver did Oi see dhress-suits in sich a mortial state As thim the or-r-ators had on at our big j'int debate. Ho, ho! Begorra! Oi wisht that ye'd been there! Ho, ho! Begorra! The foight was on the square; Ter see the wagon goin' off, wid thim two on the sate!—   Oi 'd loike ter shtroike, 'twixt Dan and Moilce, Another j'int debate.  

 

     HIS NEW BROTHER 

  Say, I've got a little brother, Never teased to have him, nuther, But he's here; They just went ahead and bought him, And, last week the doctor brought him, Wa'n't that queer? When I heard the news from Molly, Why, I thought at first 't was jolly,     'Cause, you see, I s'posed I could go and get him And then Mama, course, would let him Play with me. But when I had once looked at him,   "Why!" I says, "My sakes, is that him? Just that mite!"   They said, "Yes," and, "Ain't he cunnin'?"   And I thought they must be funnin',—     He's a sight! 

 

   He's so small, it's just amazin', And you 'd think that he was blazin', He's so red; And his nose is like a berry, And he's bald as Uncle Jerry On his head. Why, he isn't worth a dollar! All he does is cry and holler More and more; Won't sit up—you can't arrange him,—   I don't see why Pa do'n't change him At the store. Now we've got to dress and feed him, And we really didn't need him More 'n a frog; Why'd they buy a baby 

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