AN INTERPRETATION

   Now Lonergan appears upon the boards, And Truth and Error sheathe their lingual swords. No more in wordy warfare to engage, The commentators bow before the stage, And bookworms, militant for ages past, Confess their equal foolishness at last, Reread their Shakspeare in the newer light And swear the meaning's obvious to sight. For centuries the question has been hot:   Was Hamlet crazy, or was Hamlet not? Now, Lonergan's illuminating art Reveals the truth of the disputed "part,"   And shows to all the critics of the earth That Hamlet was an idiot from birth! 

 

 A SOARING TOAD

   So, Governor, you would not serve again Although we'd all agree to pay you double. You find it all is vanity and pain—     One clump of clover in a field of stubble—     One grain of pleasure in a peck of trouble.   'Tis sad, at your age, having to complain Of disillusion; but the fault is whose When pigmies stumble, wearing giants' shoes? I humbly told you many moons ago For high preferment you were all unfit. A clumsy bear makes but a sorry show Climbing a pole. Let him, judicious, sit With dignity at bottom of his pit, And none his awkwardness will ever know. Some beasts look better, and feel better, too, Seen from above; and so, I think, would you. Why, you were mad! Did you suppose because Our foolish system suffers foolish men To climb to power, make, enforce the laws, And, it is whispered, break them now and then, We love the fellows and respect them when We've stilled the volume of our loud hurrahs? When folly blooms we trample it the more For having fertilized it heretofore. Behold yon laborer! His garb is mean, His face is grimy, but who thinks to ask The measure of his brains? 'Tis only seen He's fitted for his honorable task,     And so delights the mind. But let him bask In droll prosperity, absurdly clean—   Is that the man whom we admired before? Good Lord, how ignorant, and what a bore! Better for you that thoughtless men had said     (Noting your fitness in the humbler sphere):   "Why don't they make him Governor?" instead Of, "Why the devil did they?" But I fear My words on your inhospitable ear Are wasted like a sermon to the dead. Still, they may profit you if studied well:   You can't be taught to think, but may to spell. 

 

 AN UNDRESS UNIFORM

  

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