tell him things 'n I ever want to hear what he has to say, so I can't in truth feel 's his talkin' gives me much pleasure. Mrs. Macy 's great on gaspin', but she don't as a general thing get very far, 'n' so the long 'n' short o' the whole thing is 't if Cousin Marion ain't a change f'r the better she can't noways be a change f'r the worst, 'n' so I 've made up my mind to sail right in 'n' risk her. 

 "I 've thought 's it 'll be a nice idea to take her father's cane for a present; it 'll surely come very handy to her,—'f she 's alive a tall,—'n' since Mr. Kimball over-persuaded me into buyin' one o' them patent carpet-beaters, it ain't no manner o' service to me. Not 's I ain't sure 't I don't really prefer the cane to the patent, but I 've paid for the new thing 'n' I ain't goin' to go to work to make myself feel 's I 've wasted my money. The carpet-beater ain 't up to Mr. Kimball's talk by long odds, 'n' so far from turnin' into a egg-beater in the wink of your eye like he promised, you 've got to grip it fast between your knees 'n' get your back ag'in a flour-bin to turn it into anythin' a tall. 'N' then when it does turn, so far from bein' a joy it lets up so quick 't you find yourself most anywhere. Mrs. Craig was gettin' her brace ag'in the hen-house, 'n' when it let up she sat down so sudden 't she smashed the henhouse 'n' a whole settin' o' duck-eggs not to speak of the hen between. Mrs. Macy says 't seein' 's she has more eggs 'n carpets, she jus' beats her carpets with the egg end 'n' don't fuss to change ever. Mrs. Fisher says what puts her out is 't the ring 's you slide up to close the whisks for killin' flies won't stay up, 'n the flies don't get killed but jus' get hit so they buzz without stoppin' from then on. Mrs. Jilkins says right out 's she considers the whole thing a swindle, 'n' 'f Mr. Kimball was n't rentin' his store o' her brother she sh'd tell him so to his face. She says the three-inch measure on the handle 's too short to be o' any real service on a farm, 'n' her opinion is 't Mr. Kimball keeps his sample dipped in kerosene or he never could snap it in 'n' out so quick. Anyhow it all comes in the end to the fact 't, havin' bought it, I 'll work it 'f I die f'r it, 'n' so Cousin Marion c'n have the cane, 'n' may she be everlastin'ly happy usin' it. I did n't get my trunk down 'cause I 'll have Friday to pack anyhow, 'n' any one c'n slide a trunk down a ladder any time, but nobody can't never slide nothin' up nowhere. Besides, I sh'd look like a fool puttin' back a trunk 't I 'd hauled out to visit a cousin who like enough died afore I was born, 'n' I ain't no fool,—never was 'n' never will be." 

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