Baxter, the auld dominie, chowl his chafts." 

 "Exyems!" says I.  "Is that the same as exy-oey we used to play at on oor sklates at the skule?" 

 "No, no, no, no, no," says Sandy.  "What are you haiverin' aboot, Bawbie? It's a different kind o' thing a'thegither. The first exyem is that onything that's equal to the same thing as ony ither thing, is equal to the thing that's equal to the thing to which the ither thing's equal, d'ye know, d'ye see?" 

 "By faigs, Sandy," says I, "that's waur than exy-oey yet. What was't you said?" 

 "It's as plain as twice-twa's fower, Bawbie, if you juist watch," says Sandy.  "If ae thing is equal till anither thing, an' the ither thing's equal to some ither thing that's equal to the thing that the first thing's equal till, then you can easy see that the ae thing 'ill be equal to the ither, as weel as to the ither thing that they're baith equal till." 

 I thocht Sandy was raley gettin' akinda lichtwecht, d'ye ken, for I cud nether mak' heid nor tail o' his confused blethers. 

 "Keep me, Bawbie, do you no' see through't?" he says, glowerin' at me wi' a queer-like look in his e'e.  "Gie's three bawbees! Look now; there's thae three bawbees. Weel than, here's twa here, an' there's ane there. Noo, this ane here is equal to that ane there, an' this ither ane here is equal to that ane there too; so that, when they're baith equal to that ane, the teen maun be equal to the tither. A blind bat cud see that wi' its een shut." 

 Sandy set himsel' up like's he'd pey'd a big account or something, an', gien his heid a gey impident cock to the tae side, he says, "D'ye no' see't?" 

 "See't?" says I, I says.  "What wud bender's frae seein't? An' is that what gomitry learns you?" says I. 

 "It is that," says Sandy.  "That's the first exyem." 

 "Weel," says I, "it tak's a michty lang road to tell you what ony three-'ear-auld bairn in the G-O goes cud tell you in a jiffy." 

 "Ah, but it's the mental dreel that's the vailable thing," says Sandy. "It learns you to argey, d'ye no' see? If I had a glisk at gomitry for a nicht or twa, an' got a puckle triangles an' parilelly grams into my heid, I'll be fit to gie a scrieve on the watter question, or the scaffies' wadges, that'll garr some o' oor Toon Cooncillers crook their moos. Wait till you see!" 

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