you are!” Miss Mapp cast one glance at her basket to see that the paper quite concealed that article of clothing which the perfidious laundry had found. (Probably the laundry knew where it was all the time, and—in a figurative sense, of course—was “trying it on.”) “Early to bed and early to rise, Major,” she said. “I saw my sweet flowers open their eyes this morning! Such a beautiful dew!” “Well, my diaries kept me up late last night,” he said. “When all you fascinating ladies have withdrawn is the only time at which I can bring myself to sit down to them.” “Let me recommend six to eight in the morning, Major,” said Miss Mapp earnestly. “Such a freshness of brain then.” That seemed to be a cul-de-sac in the way of leading up to the important subject, and the Major tried another turning. “Good, well-fought game of bridge we had yesterday,” he said. “Just met Mrs. Plaistow; she stopped on for a chat after we had gone.” “Dear Diva; she loves a good gossip,” said Miss Mapp effusively. “Such an interest she has in other people’s[55] affairs. So human and sympathetic. I’m sure our dear hostess told her all about her adventures at the Palace.” [55] There was only seven minutes left before the tram started, and though this was not a perfect opening, it would have to do. Besides, the Major saw Mrs. Plaistow coming energetically along the High Street with whirling feet. “Yes, and we haven’t finished with—ha—royalty yet,” he said, getting the odious word out with difficulty. “The Prince of Wales will be passing through the town on Saturday, on his way to Ardingly Park, where he is spending the Sunday.” Miss Mapp was not betrayed into the smallest expression of interest. “That will be nice for him,” she said. “He will catch a glimpse of our beautiful Tilling.” “So he will! Well, I’m off for my game of golf. Perhaps the Navy will be a bit more efficient to-day.” “I’m sure you will both play perfectly!” said Miss Mapp. Diva had “popped” into the grocer’s. She always popped everywhere just now; she popped across to see a friend, and she popped home again; she popped into church on Sunday, and occasionally
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