"It'll be O.K. till he tries to ride in it," I says, "and then the chances are you'll have to leave town and the Gaflooey people will be facin' a suit!" 

 "There ain't another car on the market that can hold a match to the Gaflooey!" hollers Alex, his goat prancin' madly about. 

 "What's it made out of—celluloid?" I says. 

 "You may think you're funny!" he tells me, "but that's nothin' more or less than ig'rance. Here I am wastin' valuable time tryin' to explain somethin' to Cousin Alice and you keep interruptin' till a man don't know where he's at! Let's see now, where was I?" he asks the wife. 

 "The beautiful and good-lookin' princess had just promised to wed you," I says, "but the crusty old king couldn't see into it!" 

 The wife throws a pillow at me and it busted a vase that cost me three hundred green certificates. After a short brawl over the remains, I laid off Alex and he went ahead. 

 "As I said before," he goes on, "the president of the Gaflooey Company has selected me to go up and sell old Sampson this here chummy roadster. If I land the order, which naturally enough I will, it means I get made manager of the New York salesrooms. Then me and Eve Rossiter will prob'ly get married and—" 

 "What?" squeals the wife.  "Are you and Eve engaged? And she never said a word to me!" 

 "How could she?" I says.  "When he prob'ly had her doped?" 

 "No, we ain't engaged," says Alex.  "I ain't even asked the girl will she be mine yet." 

 "Then how do you know she'll marry you?" asks the wife. 

 "Well," says Alex, "I figure if you married this here pest, I ought to be able to marry anybody! But what I'm up against is this—I got to take one of them roadsters up there to-day and demonstrate it to Sampson. They have gone to work and made an appointment for me, and what I don't know about automobiles would fill seven large libraries. Here I'm supposed to show Mister Sampson the points on our car which is better than any other and I can't tell the windshield from the magneto. Now d'ye blame me for bein' worried?" 

 "I thought you was the world's greatest salesman," I sneers.  "You don't mean to say this job has got you yellin' for the 

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