in tears, And merry stanzas steeped in rue! When all the world in drab appears The fool must still in motley woo. Tho’ bitter be the cud he chew, Still must he grind his foolish grist; Still must he ply, the long day through, The tragic trade of humorist! [Pg 77] L’Envoi [Pg 77] L’Envoi Lady of Tears, what pains perdue The heart and soul of him may twist Who doth in cap and bells pursue The glad sad trade of humorist! [Pg 78] [Pg 78] GENTLE DOCTOR BROWN It was a gentle sawbones and his name was Doctor Brown. His auto was the terror of a small suburban town. His practice, quite amazing for so trivial a place, Consisted of the victims of his homicidal pace. So constant was his practice and so high his motor’s gear That at knocking down pedestrians he never had a peer; But it must, in simple justice, be as truly written down That no man could be more thoughtful than gentle Doctor Brown. Whatever was the errand on which Doctor Brown was bent He’d stop to patch a victim up and never charged a cent. He’d always pause, whoever ’twas he happened to run down: A humane and a thoughtful man was gentle Doctor Brown. “How fortunate,” he would observe, “how fortunate ’twas I That knocked you galley-west and heard your wild and wailing cry.[Pg 79] There are some heartless wretches who would leave you here alone, Without a sympathetic ear to catch your dying moan. “How fortunate,” he would observe, “how fortunate ’twas I [Pg 79] “Such callousness,” said Doctor Brown, “I cannot comprehend; To fathom such indifference I simply don’t pretend. One ought to do his duty, and I never am remiss. A simple word of thanks is all I ask. Here, swallow this!” “Such callousness,” said Doctor Brown, “I cannot comprehend; Then, reaching in the tonneau, he’d unpack his little kit, And perform an operation that was workmanlike and fit. “You may survive,” said Doctor Brown; “it’s happened once or twice. If not, you’ve had the benefit of competent advice.” “You may survive,” said Doctor