"You're lost: deny it, if you can! You want to know The way to go? There's no such place as Old Japan. "You want to seek— No, no, don't speak! You mean you want to steal a fan. You want to see The fields of tea? They don't grow tea in Old Japan. "In China, well Perhaps you'd smell The cherry bloom: that's if you ran A million miles And jumped the stiles, And never dreamed of Old Japan. "What, palanquins, And mandarins? And, what d'you say, a blue divan? And what? Hee! hee!