the side. "Fancy," said the widow not noticing the deflection, "marrying a man who had been encouraged to take an[143] interest in the household affairs and having him following you about picking up things after you; or one, whose first wife had trained him to sit by the fire in the evening, and whom it took a derrick to get to the theatre or a dinner party; or one who had been permitted to smoke a pipe and put his feet all over the furniture and growl about the meals and boss the cook!" [143] "Or to a wife," interpolated the bachelor, "who had always handled the funds and monopolized the conversation and chosen her husband's collars and who threw all her past husbands at you every time you did something she wasn't used to or objected to something she was used to." "Yes," agreed the widow with a little shiver, "what horrid things[144] two people could say to one another." [144] "Such as 'Just wait until the lease is up!'" suggested the bachelor. The widow nodded. "Or, 'The next time I marry, I'll be careful not to take anybody with red hair,' or, 'Thank goodness it won't last forever!'" she added. "That's the beauty of it!" broke in the bachelor enthusiastically. "It wouldn't last forever! And the knowledge that it wouldn't would be such an anæsthetic." "Such a what!" the widow sat up so suddenly that both toes slipped from the fender and her heels landed indignantly on the floor. "It would be the lump of sugar," explained the bachelor, "that would take away the bitter taste and make you able to swallow all the trials[145] more easily. It's the feeling that a painful operation won't last long that makes it possible to grin and bear it. Besides, it would do away with all sorts of crimes, like divorce and wife murder and ground glass in the coffee. Knowing that the marriage was only temporary and that we were only sort of house-party guests might make us more polite and agreeable and entertaining, so as to leave a good impression behind us." [145] "I do believe," cried the widow, sitting up straight and looking at the bachelor accusingly, "that you're arguing in favor of 'trial marriage.'"
Prev.
Back
Top