Dear Mr. Dan Leno,— This has been a great week For Art— One of the biggest weeks in fact On record. For at the beginning of the week, my dear Mr. Leno, You were a mere popular entertainer, Whereas at the present moment You are a proud and 'appy man, And in a position to walk about the Strand With a diamond E Scintillating in your cravat. The thing that was anticipated By the intelligent paragraphists, My dear Mr. Leno, Has come to pass. His Britannic Majesty King Edward VII., D.G.: B. et T.T.B.R.: I.I., Does intend to give artists and authors and people A little bit more of a show Than has hitherto fallen to their lot. His Majesty, My dear Mr. Leno, Has always been noted for his tact, And in opening the ball with you, as it were, His Majesty has exhibited an amount of tact Which leaves absolutely nothing to be desired. Had he commenced with Mr. Swinburne, Or myself, Or Mr. Hall Caine What howls there would have been! Whereas as it is Everybody is delighted, And the Halls resound nightly with his Majesty's praises. Furthermore, Besides being tactful, The King's choice of you, My dear Mr. Leno, For an invitation to Sandringham Has its basis in a profound common sense; For I am acquainted with nobody in the movement, My dear Mr. Leno, Who could have done the Sandringham turn With anything like the success which appears to have been yours. I gather from interviews That the King "laughed heartily" at your jokes, And that "it was a treat to see him enjoying himself." It is just here that Mr. Swinburne, myself, and Mr. Hall Caine Would have broken down. It seems to me unlikely That the King would have laughed At Mr. Swinburne's jokes; My own jokes, as everybody is aware, Are constructed on a principle Which entirely prohibits laughter; While, as for Mr. Hall Caine's jokes, They have such a tremendous sale That it is not good form to laugh at them. Mr. Leno, my boy, You have been the humble means Of doing us all A great kindness. Those jokes of yours Which have tickled Royal ears Will be nectar to me When next it is my pleasurable duty To sit under you; That hand which Royalty has shaken I shall grasp With an added fervour; That smile will cheer me all the more readily Because it has cheered My liege Lord and Sovereign; Those feet—— But, after all, the great point Is the scarf pin. I suppose you would not care to lend it to me For a week or two While I have one made Like it? 

 

 

   TO THE POPE 

 May it please your Holiness There are possibly two, Or it may be three, Men In Europe Who could indite this Ode Without treading on anybody's corns. After mature reflection, I 

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