[Pg 59] "Guest's will kindly not make fun of the host." Guest's will kindly not contradict or make fun of their host, since he is very irritable and does not like to be contradicted or made fun of. Guests will oblige their host by not asking for anything that is not on the bill of fare. In a private house like this it would be very awkward to have to serve guests with fried potatoes at a time when ice-cream or mince pie has been ordered. Horses and wheelbarrows are not aloud[Pg 60] in this dining-room under any circumstances whatever. [Pg 60] Neither must cows or hay scales be brought here. Guests bringing their own olives will be charged extra. Also their own assalted ammonds. Spoons, platters, and gravy boats taken from the table must be paid for at market rates for articles so taken away. Any guest caught violating any or all of these rules will not be aloud any dessert whatever; and a second voilition will deprive them of a forth helping to roast beef and raisins. Yoors Tooly, The Unwiseman. Yoors Tooly, The Unwiseman. The Unwiseman CONTENTS N. G. Any guest desiring to substitute his own rules for the above is at libbity to do so, provided he furnishes his own dining-room. "They're the most ridiculous rules I ever[Pg 61] heard of," said Mollie, with a grin so broad that it made her ears uncomfortable. "The idea of having to tell anybody not to wear a hat at the table! He might just as well have made a rule forbidding people to throw plates on the floor." [Pg 61] "I dessay he would have, if he'd thought of it," returned Whistlebinkie. "But just look at these rules for the waitress. They are worse than the others." Then Whistlebinkie read off the rules the Unwiseman had made for the waitress, as follows: Rules for the Waiteress. Rules for the Waiteress. CONTENTS
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