“But what do you mean by being himself?” said Gerald. “Is that an aphorism or a cliché?” 

 “I mean just doing what you want to do. I think it was perfect good form in Laura to bolt from Lupton to the church door. It was almost a masterpiece in good form. It’s the hardest thing in the world to act spontaneously on one’s impulses—and it’s the only really gentlemanly thing to do—provided you’re fit to do it.” 

 “You don’t expect me to take you seriously, do you?” asked Gerald. 

 “Yes, Gerald, you’re one of the very few people I do expect that of.” 

 “Then I’m afraid I can’t come up to your expectations here, at any rate. You think people should just do as they like.” 

 “I think they always do. But I should like them to like the purely individual thing in themselves, which makes them act in singleness. And they only like to do the collective thing.” 

 “And I,” said Gerald grimly, “shouldn’t like to be in a world of people who acted individually and spontaneously, as you call it. We should have everybody cutting everybody else’s throat in five minutes.” 

 “That means you would like to be cutting everybody’s throat,” said Birkin. 

 “How does that follow?” asked Gerald crossly. 

 “No man,” said Birkin, “cuts another man’s throat unless he wants to cut it, and unless the other man wants it cutting. This is a complete truth. It takes two people to make a murder: a murderer and a murderee. And a murderee is a man who is murderable. And a man who is murderable is a man who in a profound if hidden lust desires to be murdered.” 

 “Sometimes you talk pure nonsense,” said Gerald to Birkin. “As a matter of fact, none of us wants our throat cut, and most other people would like to cut it for us—some time or other—” 

 “It’s a nasty view of things, Gerald,” said Birkin, “and no wonder you are afraid of yourself and your own unhappiness.” 

 “How am I afraid of myself?” said Gerald; “and I don’t think I am unhappy.” 

 “You seem to have a lurking desire to have your gizzard slit, and imagine every man has his knife up his sleeve for you,” Birkin said. 

 “How do you make that out?” said Gerald. 

 Prev. P 27/488 next