might have deprived me of reason as well as repose.

“I awoke one night, and saw my cell in flames; I started up in horror, but shrunk back on perceiving myself surrounded by demons, who, clothed in fire, were breathing forth clouds of it around me. Desperate with horror, I rushed against the wall, and found what I touched was cold. My recollection returned, and I comprehended, that these were hideous figures scrawled in phosphorus, to terrify me. I then returned to my bed, and as the day-light approached, observed these figures gradually decline. In the morning, I took a desperate resolution of forcing my way to the Superior, and speaking to him. I felt my reason might be destroyed amid the horrors they were surrounding me with.

“It was noon before I could work myself up to execute this resolution. I knocked at his cell, and when the door was opened, he exhibited the same horror as at my former intrusion, but I was not to be repelled. “My father, I require you to hear me, nor will I quit this spot till you do so.”—“Speak.”—“They famish me,—I am not allowed food to support nature.”—“Do you deserve it?”—“Whether I do or not, neither the laws of God or man have yet condemned me to die of hunger; and if you do, you commit murder.”—“Have you any thing else to complain of?”—“Every thing; I am not allowed to enter the church,—I am forbid to pray,—they have stripped my cell of crucifix, rosary, and the vessel for holy water. It is impossible for me to perform my devotions even alone.”—“Your devotions!”—“My father, though I am not a monk, may I not still be a Christian?”—“In renouncing your vows, you have abjured your claim to either character.”—“But I am still a human being, and as such—But I appeal not to your humanity, I call on your authority for protection. Last night, my cell was covered with representations of fiends. I awoke in the midst of flames and spectres.”—“So you will at the last day!”—“My punishment will then be enough, it need not commence already.”—“These are the phantoms of your conscience.”—“My father, if you will deign to examine my cell, you will find the traces of phosphorus on the walls.”—“I examine your cell? I enter it?”—“Am I then to expect no redress? Interpose your authority for the sake of the house over which you preside. Remember that, when my appeal becomes public, all these circumstances will become so too, and you are to judge what degree of credit they will attach to the community.” “Retire!” I did so, and found my application attended to, at least with regard to food, but my cell remained in the same dismantled state, and I continued under the same desolating interdiction from all communion, religious or social. I assure you, 

 Prev. P 23/113 next