[vi] [vi] TO THAT SUPREME AUTOCRAT, THE SMALL BOY OF NORTH AMERICA, THIS BOOK IS, WITHOUT PERMISSION, MOST RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED. [vii] [viii] [vii] [viii] [ix] [ix] CONTENTS. XI. Chapter. Page. [x] [xi] [xi] PREFACE. Silly as this story may seem, there is a fixed purpose in writing it; and, like water in a goose-pond, it is deeper than it at first appears. The intention chiefly is to be absurd; to cast ridicule on certain pedants and romancers; and to jeer at the ridiculous solemnity, mystery, and villainy, that hedge in works of fiction. Disgusted with tales which cause exceedingly good heroes and heroines to live a life of torture, only to find a haven of peace and security in the last line of the last chapter, the writer determined to go over the old ground in a different way. Now that the story is written, however, he has a horrible suspicion that in
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