pointing with his thumb to the inner room where the departed patients lay on slabs covered with sheets, "they's a felly in there who wud give five t'ousand uf he cud hav ut."

I simply mention this little incident in passing to show that all of us prefer the ills[Pg 99] we have to those we know not of. I would rather be a mailing clerk at eight per than a free man working freight trains for transportation and relying on hand-outs for sustenance in place of Ma's frugal, but certain table d'hôte.

[Pg 99]

I sincerely trust, sir, that your trip to the Springs will do you the anticipated good. Billy Poindexter says—(by the way, I guess you didn't know he was back from the Klondike. Not exactly that, either, for he didn't reach the Klondike. The nearest he got to it was on the map he bought while he was here. He went no farther than San Francisco. His only object in starting for the Yukon, he says, was to see if he couldn't pick up a good thing or two, and as he found them in 'Frisco he stayed there.) He was much concerned about you when I told him you had gone to the Springs.

"Too bad for your governor," he said. "He must suffer terribly with them."

"With them?" I asked. "With what?"

"Why, boils, of course. What would he go to the Hot Springs for, if not for boils?"

It cost me five minutes' time in a very busy evening to find out that he had made[Pg 100] a very bad joke, a paranomasia as we called it in college; in other words, a pun or play upon words. I've advised Billy to publish a chart of this joke. If he does I'll send you one. He says I'm as dense as that English lord who visited the works while you were away last fall.

[Pg 100]

Apropos, we met him—the lord—the other night. We were having a bite to eat at a rathskeller after the theatre when "his ludship" wandered in. He was built up regardless, with an Inverness coat with grey plaids, that looked like a country-bred rag carpet. It was the real thing, of course, and I made up my mind to save the four dollars that have been added to my stipend until I could get one like it. I decided, however, that I shall not make my possession of it public until he has left the country. I should really hate to be mistaken for him. I even prefer to be known as connected with your business.

Strange to say, when "his ludship" reached our table, he 

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