the choicest of the meats and the wines of Arabia." "Gawd 'elp Arabia, then. An' I asked for beer, B-E-A-R, beer. D'yer mean to say they don't 'ave it in Arabia?" Eustace shook his head. "Poor blighters!" put in Bill. "No wonder they're 'eathens." "Now, look 'ere, Eustace," said Alf instructively. "Beer is—er—beer is—well, it's.... I say,[Pg 58] Bill, 'ow the 'ell can yer explain beer to any one as doesn't know what it is?" [Pg 58] "Well," said Bill. "It's brown stuff, made from 'ops an' malt an' such, an' you get it in Blighty—that's England, you savvy—in barrels. Just you 'op over there, an' you'll see. Or any one'll tell you." This lucid explanation sufficed Eustace, for this time he disappeared with the scorned banquet, and returned in a twinkling with two foaming tankards. Alf and Bill smelt the contents with grave suspicion, which changed at once to a happy foaming smile apiece. "That's the goods!" said Alf. "Ah!" said Bill, smacking his lips with deep satisfaction. "Ole Aladdin knew a thing or two, 'e did. Let's 'ave another o' the same an' drink 'is 'ealth." "No, Bill. It'll 'urt ole Eustace' feelings. If you was a spook what could build palaces an' sich in 'arf a tick, would you like to 'ave to go all the way to 'ell for two bloomin' pints? Besides we've kept 'im on the go pretty fair as it is." "Make it 'ogs'eds, then." But Alf was adamant. "Very well, don't then," said Grant with sudden asperity. "But if yer won't oblige a pal in a little thing like that, w'y don't yer get on with it an' do something? Fat lot o' good you done so far with[Pg 59] yer pet devil! W'y, yer mighter stopped the 'ole war by now." [Pg 59] "Might I? 'Ow?" "Easy enough. All you gotter do is to send ole Eustace over to fetch the Kaiser 'ere, an' there yer are! Can't yer see it in all the papers—'Private Alf 'Iggins, V.C.—The 'ero as captured the Kaiser'?" "Yes, I see meself gettin' it in the neck. I 'ope I knows my place better'n
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