about?"

"Suppose that a burglar (for politeness sake called something else) were apprehended by a policeman (likewise), what would happen?"

"Why, the policeman (not so called, and yet we must be frank) would rattle his glottis in the prescribed manner."

"Rattle his gl--I see. He would clear his throat with the appropriate sound. And then the burglar (not so called)?"

"Would be covered with shame, it is true, but not fatally. For the peace of his own soul, he would leave the site in as dignified a manner as possible."

"With or without boodle?"

"Naturally without. One apprehended in the act is obliged to abandon his loot. That is only common politeness."

"I see. And if the burglar (not so called) remains unapprehended? How is the loss of the goods or property recorded?"

"It goes into the coefficient of general diminution of merchandise, which is to say shrinkage, wastage or loss. At certain times and places this coefficient becomes alarmingly large. Then it is necessary to use extraordinary care; and in extreme cases, a thrice-removed burglar may become so ashamed of himself that he will die."

"That he will die of shame? Is that a euphemism?"

"Let us say that it is a euphemism of a euphemism."

"Thrice-removed, I imagine. And what of other crimes?"

"There being no crime, we can hardly speak of _other_ crimes," said OMTLM. "But perhaps in another matter of speaking, you refer to--"

"Crimes of violence," said Marlow.

"Saving your presence, and formula of a formula, what would we have to be violent about? What possible cause?"

"The usual: greed, lust, jealousy, anger, revenge, plain perversity."

"Here also it is possible for one to die of shame, sometimes the offender, sometimes the victim, sometimes both. A jealous person might permit both his wife and her paramour to die of shame. And the State in turn might permit him to perish likewise, unless there were circumstances to modify the degree of shame; then he might still 

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