room, dropping dust like a elephant. It is a failure at everything around the house, yet you say[Pg 43] so that no home is complete without one. What kind of a conundrum are you talking about, please?”

[Pg 43]

“My husband,” report Mrs. Fillups as she elope away.

This husband belonging to Mrs. Fillups are quite a large gentleman. I are not sure if husbands comes in regular sizes, but I should think Hon. Fillups was about size 46. It are deliciously difficult to housekeep him.

Mrs. Fillups spend all day-long cleaning up after his departure and preparing for his next visitation. Her favourite pet name for him is “Don’t.”

When he encroach home by evening train she meets him on door-mat with cheerful smiling. Yet she has got her watch eye open for his uncivilised ways.

“Don’t track snow on rug, dearie, Don’t wear rubbers in house, DON’T leave them on front steps like a tenement.” Hon. Fillups are one of those husbands which begins to obey orders after the damage is done.

“Darling, don’t leave it on sofa,” she report when he remove off hat & coat. “Don’t lay cigars on mahogany table & DON’T whistle in house.” 

[Pg 44]

[Pg 44]

When he make wash-hand ceremony she say, “Don’t dry your thumbs on clean towels!”

“What are clean towels for?” he ask saddishly.

“I hang them in bathroom to show company how extravagant we are with our laundry,” rejoint Mrs. Fillups. “In this era of hard times towels are not made merely to be used.”

Dinner is served. At Hon. Table where they set there she resume conversation. “Don’t tip soup plate in eating it,” she report cow-cattishly. “Don’t stand up while carving mutton. Don’t eat salad with oyster fork!”

When dinner is completely finished Hon. Fillups promenade in direction of parlour. His teeeth now contains one enlarged tobacco pipe of sunburned appearance.

“DON’T!!” 

 Prev. P 21/85 next