“Togo’s biscuits fill my teeth with hatred while his coffee show contemptible weakness,” Hon. Bellus dib for breakfast. “Perhapsly,” refute Hon. Mrs., “yet he are one of the best Vacuum Engineers I ever hired.” “I cannot eat a Vacuum,” reject that Husband-man, with hat-in-the-ring expression. “I are not responsible for your animal hungers,” corrode this Wife while she arose and gently order me to take Hon. Vacuum down cellar for vacate 2 coal-bins and a ashbarrel. [Pg 8] [Pg 8] I retained this situation of jobs for six complete days’ work. All day long I go around house dragging hose like a fireman. I got that intelligent Vacuum so trained that he could do tricks of extreme cuteness. He could coax shoe-buttons entirely across room by his talented suction, and when they got up to his nose—gubble! They disappear to zero. He loved to catch flies by breathing them inwards; and once he attempt to withdraw Mrs. Bellus’ weak canary bird from cage. Which he not quite did, but too nearly. So I continue on practicing this suctionary job; and I got so smart from it that I was preparing to request Hon. Mrs. for more wage of salary, when some unpleasantness exploded. I sorry to tell you. Last Tuesday Hon. Mrs. Hirem B. Bellus come to me and say with gloves & hat: “I go for lunching at Aunt Maria Stewart whose great wealth includes asthma and make her disagreeable but necessary. Be faithful with your Vacuum while I are away.” I promus her. “Grocer man will be here this p. m. for collect bill,” she corrode with indignation peculiar to debts. “Here are 20$ banknote[Pg 9] for payment. I owe him 26$. Tell him to keep the change.” [Pg 9] So she part off, leaving me that 20$ paper of extreme value. Mr. Editor, it make me nervus to be alone with great wealth. Sipposing some burglary should come by window? Sipposing my dishonest instinct should fly up and make me skip Canada with cash-money? Yet I was entirely faithful by that 20$. I took him and fold him to smallish wad, then I lay him carefully in crack of sofa where burglars could not see, yet I could not forget where was. Hon. Vacuum stood near purring softly while I done
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