The Rejuvenation of Miss Semaphore: A Farcical Novel
marvellous rejuvenating properties cannot be exaggerated. By its means a person of seventy may regain, after six small doses, the age of eighteen. This is genuine. No cosmetic. No imposture. No connection with any preparation making similar claims. The greatest marvel of this or any other century. Money willingly returned if above statement is proved untrue. Please address offers, which must be liberal, as this opportunity is unique, to X. Y. Z., Office of this Paper.”

Greatly struck by the announcement, which she read twice, Miss Prudence passed the paper to her sister, saying, “Look at that!” She then pulled out some knitting, and became absorbed in the mysteries of “slip one, knit one, bring the thread forward, knit two together.”

Miss Semaphore adjusted her long-handled eye-glasses, sole concession to failing sight. Spectacles were abhorrent to her, and even a pince nez she considered too plain an acknowledgment of weakness. She was even more impressed by the advertisement than Miss Prudence had been, and considered it at intervals throughout the evening.

pince nez

31Coffee had been handed round. The men who sauntered upstairs for a cup massed themselves together for company at one end of the room. If separate from their kind, they seemed forlorn and uneasy, and watched an opportunity to escape. One or two of the oldest, including Major Jones, and a Mr. Batley, who was young, but a new-comer and unacquainted with the ways of the house, advanced into what seemed to be looked on as the women’s end.

31

Miss Prudence Semaphore moved her skirts slightly, so as to give a chance to anyone wishing to sit beside her. No one came. Pretty Miss Fastleigh and her sister, with an unconsciousness born of experience, had thoughtfully taken places as near the men as possible. Soon they were deep in conversation with the more courageous of the advanced guard.

Coffee over, the greater number of the men made a stampede. Some were studying for examinations and could not spare time. More sat in each other’s rooms drinking whisky and soda, others again turned out for a game of billiards.

A whist party was formed by Miss Semaphore, her sister, Major Jones and Mr. 32Dumaresq. Mrs. Whitley, Mrs. Dumaresq, the medical woman, Miss Belcher, Miss Fastleigh, Mr. Batley, and his sister, took part in a round game. Miss Primsby, a timid girl, very proper, and easily shocked, whose formidable mother 
 Prev. P 15/113 next 
Back Top
Privacy Statement Terms of Service Contact