"Gentlemen Prefer Blondes": The Illuminating Diary of a Professional Lady
So we went to Deimels and met Count Salm. But while we were having yowzer with Count Salm, we saw Mr. Spoffard’s mother come in with her companion Miss Chapman, and Miss Chapman seemed to look at me quite a lot and talk to Mr. Spoffards mother about me quite a lot. So I became quite nervous, because I really wished that we were not with Count Salm. I mean it has been quite a hard thing to make Mr. Spoffard think that I am trying to reform Dorothy, but if I had to try to make him think that I was trying to reform Count Salm, he might begin to think that there is a limit to almost everything. So Mr. Spoffards mother seems to be deaf, because she seems to use an ear trumpet and I really could not help over hearing quite a lot of words that Miss Chapman was using on me, even if it is not such good etiquet to overhear people. So Miss Chapman seemed to be telling Mr. Spoffards mother that I was a “creature,” and she seemed to be telling her that I was the real reason why her son seemed to be so full of nothing but neglect lately. So then Mr. Spoffards mother looked at me and looked at me, even if it was not such good etiquet to look at a person. And Miss Chapman kept right on talking to Mr. Spoffards mother and I heard her mention Willie Gwynn and I think that Miss Chapman has been making some inquiries about me and I really think that she has heard about the time when all of the family of Willie Gwynn had quite a long talk with me and persuaded me not to marry Willie Gwynn for $10,000. So I really wish Mr. Spoffard would introduce me to his mother before she gets to be full of quite a lot of prejudice. Because one thing seems to be piling up on top of another thing, until I am almost on the verge of getting nervous and I have not had any time yet to do what Dr. Froyd said a girl ought to do. 

So tonight I am going to tell Mr. Eisman that I have got to go to bed early, so then I can take quite a long ride with Mr. Spoffard and look at nature, and he may say something definite, because nothing makes gentlemen get so definite as looking at nature when it is moonlight. 

May 30th: Well last night Mr. Spoffard and I took quite a long ride in the park, but they do not call it a park in the Viennese landguage but they call it the Prater. So a prater is really devine because it is just like Coney Island but at the same time it is in the woods and it is practically full of trees and it has quite a long road for people to take rides on in a horse and buggy. So I found out that Miss Chapman had been talking against me quite a lot. So it seems that she has been making inquiries about me, and I was really surprised to hear all of the things that Miss Chapman seemed to 
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