[Pg 45] [Pg 45] HENRY VIII. AND HIS HAREM IN HADES. [Pg 47] [Pg 47] CHAPTER IV. Henry VIII. and His Harem in Hades. Henry VIII. and His Harem in Hades. “QUAKER worship may be as appropriate as any other kind on Sunday,” observed William Penn, “but this silence is getting on my nerves. Why don’t you say something funny, you humorists? What’s the use of having famous funny men in this society if they cannot enliven Hades on a dull Sabbath?” “I’m not in the humor to be humorous to-night,” said Bret Harte, who was busily engaged in making “Condensed Novels” by tearing to shreds without reading, their contents from the title page to the finis; book reviewing they designate it up on earth. “Do you call that wit?” sneered Eugene Field. “If you can define the difference between wit and humor, I’ll promise to laugh the next time you see things at night,” retorted Harte. “Eternity is too short for definitions, except to a philologist,” evaded Field. “Ask Dick[Pg 48] Whately; the archbishop of Dublin is the only man who discriminates English synonyms.” [Pg 48] “I know when you don’t ask me,” replied the doctor. “Consult Webster.” “Mortal cannot live by wit alone,” commented that philologist. “Being immortal, I can,” said Johnson. “Mark that down, Boswell, even if Shakespeare does object to the doctor’s company on the Mount of Parnassus. A man of perpetual inspiration ought to use a fountain pen, but in the absence of a point to Johnson’s wit, Demosthenes will lend you a pebble.” “As I live in a glass hot-house, I never throw stones,” gurgled the orator, after
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