What have I gained? A verbal promise of priesthood, and a verbal promise of five thousand pounds. M-ym-ym-ym-ym-ym-ym. What has he gained? If he's honest, the evacuation of a purulent abscess, the allegiance of a man who wants to be faithful, and perhaps the merit of saving a soul. N.B. There was unwillingness and self-compulsion in him. Why was he so timid? A great part of what I said was gratuitously exasperating. Why did he stand it? What does he know that I don't know? What do I know that he doesn't know? What salient things have I, in my usual manner, left unsaid? Did I say more than enough? Have I given myself away again? Is he honest? What was his real motive? Oh why did he humiliate himself so? Don't know. Don't know. Don't know. [Pg 45] [Pg 45] Now what shall I do? Advance one pace. 'Do ye nexte thynge.'" As he was powdering his vaccinated arm with borax before dressing, he said to himself, "Go into Berners Street, and buy a gun-metal stock and two dozen Roman collars (with a seam down the middle if you can get them); and then go to Scott's and buy a flat hat. The black serge will have to do as it is. If they don't like a jacket, let them dislike it. And then go home and examine your conscience." The bishop locked the parlour-door: took the crucifix from the mantel and stood it on the table: kissed the cross embroidered on the little
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