Captain Gooster. “Suppose I married the old lady, and one day she pegs out and the daughter gets the lot? A nice return that ’ud be to me for all my kindness, wouldn’t it?”

“But there’s nothing to prevent the old lady ’anding over the money to ’er second ’usband while she’s alive, to speckylate with, is there? And once it’s in your name—”

“’Orace, if I could only think ’alf as clear as you,” remarked Captain Gooster, “I’d be driving my own carriage and pair by now!”

He halted, gazed back at the Goffley abode, and patently came to decision.

“Wait ’ere for me,” he directed. “I’m going to strike while the iron is hot. I’m going to propose to the old geezer now and get it over!”

He traced his way to the shop, knocked, and was admitted. Scarce five minutes had elapsed ere he was again at Horace’s side. Captain Gooster’s reply, in response to an interested question, took the form of a fierce growl of wrath.

“What, she wouldn’t ’ave you?” asked Horace, in surprise.

“Oh, yes, she ’ad me right enough!” exclaimed Captain Gooster, with extreme bitterness. “Oh, she’s ’ad me proper! And you’ll get a job with me on the ‘Alert,’ I don’t think! Clever? Ha! Smart? Ha, ha! Sharp? Oh, ha, ha, ha! Why, I believe your brains must be more like a wool mat than anything else!”

“But if she’s accepted you—”

“Accepted me?” bellowed Captain Gooster, p. 15passionately. “She jumped at me! Put ’er arms round my neck and made such a noise a-kissing of me that ’er daughter come ’urrying in from the kitchen at it! And Ann said it was ridic’lous, and Mrs. Goffley said it was love, and Ann crinkled ’er nose sarcastic, and told ’er mother that I was simply marrying ’er for ’er money, as any one could see.”

p. 15

“There you are!” cried Mr. Dobb. “You picked the right one, anyway.”

“Wait a bit!” urged Captain Gooster. “Of course, I says at once that I’m pained and ’urt by such a suggestion, and that of course I’m only marrying Mrs. Goffley for love. ‘Sure?’ she asks, smiling at me in a way what would ’ave been tantalizing in a young gal. ‘Positive certain!’ says I. ‘Money,’ I says. ‘What’s money to me? I’ve got plenty of my own!’ ‘There you are!’ she says to Ann. ‘Just as well though, ain’t it?’ says Ann, with a sniff. ‘Because, you know, ma, you ain’t got any money, ’ave you? It all belongs to me, 

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