RULE 1.—We cash no checks drawn on Papa. He's a dead one. 

 RULE 2.—Eat all our booze you want to, but go elsewhere and select your snakes. 

 RULE 3.—Don't call the waitress by her first name. She's liable to spoil your appetite. 

 RULE 4.—Guests who desire to have nightmare will find the harness in the restaurant, so back up! 

 RULE 5.—To prevent guests from carrying fruit from the table we'll have no fruit. We're lucky to have the table. 

 RULE 6.—If you feel tired, go away back and sit down. 

 RULE 7.—In case of fire jump out the window and turn to the left. 

 RULE 8.—Breakfast from 4 to 3; dinner from hand to mouth, and supper from what's left over. 

 RULE 9.—Hug as many high-balls as you please, but don't wave the red flag in the office—you might disturb Harold Spotwood, the room clerk. He was out late last night. 

 RULE 10.—If you don't like your room, kick the bell-boy. Apply at the office for spiked shoes. 

 RULE 11.—If you don't see what you want ask for it and you'll get it—good and hard! 

 RULE 12.—Ask the bar-keeper to let you have one of our justly celebrated high tides. It will do you good. 

 RULE 13.—Try our boneless potato salad; apply to the night watchman. 

 RULE 14.—All the shines are not in the barber shop. Lie down, Fido. 

 RULE 15.—That will be about all from you. 

 JOHN HENRY AND THE BENZINE BUGGY. 

 A cross-country dub named Montrose has been doing the Shine specialty around Clara Jane lately. 

 He began to call evenings and bring a bunch of ready-grown flowers with him as big as a hay stack. 

 Then he'd spread around the parlor and tell her how he won the long-distance running jump in the '01 Yale class. 

 As you approached him from the front the first name you saw was Clarence—Clarence Edgerton Montrose. 

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