night.

What happened was each time I started to massage Arnie's eyeballs with my thumbs, the crowd whooped with delight. And each time Arnie worked into a hold such as would be perfectly permissible on any dance floor in the country, those kindly old ladies scrambled through the ropes and whanged him with their canes.

Arnie finally terminated this loathsome exhibition by lying down and covering his head with his arms. Either that crowd had to cheer fair or Arnie wasn't going to play.

I don't want to linger any longer on that match. It is something better forgotten by one and all. It is a black and infamous blot, buried now in the pages of wrestling history. Let us leave it there.

Leo waited until we were back in the dressing room before blowing his top. "Freddy," he screeched, "what disgusting thing have you done? Have you rescued some blonde who was going down in the briny deep for the ninth time?"

I told Leo no. "I try to save a blonde from drowning," I said, "and she'll scream high-C for a shark to come and protect her."

"Then have you pulled some tiny toddler out from under the wheels of a careening and malignant truck?" Leo screeched.

I told Leo no. "I try to pull some kid out from under a truck," I said, "and he's liable to bite off my right arm all the way up to my left ear."

"Then how come that crowd was cheering on your side?" Leo howled. "Why were they drooling with affection for you?"

I couldn't explain it. I was completely confused.

If I'd have had a bit more time to think it over I might have been able to figure it out. But it wasn't until this cop brought Panda down to my dressing room that I found out just what had happened.

"Freddy," this cop said, sticking his head in, "there's a young babe with striped hair out here. This young babe is a very excited young babe. She says she has to see you."Panda pushed her way in before I could answer. Her face was almost as
white as that distinctive streak in her hair.

"Freddy," she squealed, "are you all right?"

I was getting fed up with that question. It just wasn't normal for
people to keep asking it. 

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