The Man with Two Left Feet, and Other Stories
       'What do you want in this place? It looks a rummy spot.'     

       'Oh, that's part of the story. I'll tell you the whole thing.'     

       We opened the door marked 'Waiting Room'. I never saw such a crowded place in my life. The room was packed till the walls bulged.     

       Gussie explained.     

       'Pros,' he said, 'music-hall artistes, you know, waiting to see old Abe Riesbitter. This is September the first, vaudeville's opening day. The early fall,' said Gussie, who is a bit of a poet in his way, 'is vaudeville's springtime. All over the country, as August wanes, sparkling comediennes burst into bloom, the sap stirs in the veins of tramp cyclists, and last year's contortionists, waking from their summer sleep, tie themselves tentatively into knots. What I mean is, this is the beginning of the new season, and everybody's out hunting for bookings.'     

       'But what do you want here?'     

       'Oh, I've just got to see Abe about something. If you see a fat man with about fifty-seven chins come out of that door there grab him, for that'll be Abe. He's one of those fellows who advertise each step up they take in the world by growing another chin. I'm told that way back in the nineties he only had two. If you do grab Abe, remember that he knows me as George Wilson.'     

       'You said that you were going to explain that George Wilson business to me, Gussie, old man.'     

       'Well, it's this way—'     

       At this juncture dear old Gussie broke off short, rose from his seat, and sprang with indescribable vim at an extraordinarily stout chappie who had suddenly appeared. There was the deuce of a rush for him, but Gussie had got away to a good start, and the rest of the singers, dancers, jugglers, acrobats, and refined sketch teams seemed to recognize that he had won the trick, for they ebbed back into their places again, and Gussie and I went into the inner room.     

       Mr Riesbitter lit a cigar, and looked at us solemnly over his zareba of chins.     

       'Now, let me tell ya something,' he said to Gussie. 'You lizzun t' me.'     


 Prev. P 24/196 next 
Back Top
Privacy Statement Terms of Service Contact