I wish every man and woman on earth waz a bloated aristokrat—bloated with virtew.

   Earthly manufaktured aristokrats are made principally out ov munny.

   Forty years ago it took about 85 thousand dollars tew make a good-sized aristokrat, and innokulate his family with the same disseaze, but it takes now about 600 thousand tew throw the partys into fits.

   Aristokrasy, like of the other bred stuffs, haz riz.

   It don't take enny more virtew tew make an aristokrat now, nor clothes, than it did in the daze ov Abraham.

   Virtew don't vary.

   Virtew is the standard ov values.

   Clothes ain't.

   Titles ain't.

   A man kan go barefoot and be virtewous, and be an aristokrat.

   Diogoneze waz an aristokrat.

   His brown-stun front waz a tub, and it want on end, at that.

   Moneyed aristokrasy iz very good to liv on in the present hi kondishun ov kodphis and wearing apparel, provided yu see the munny, but if the munny kind of tires out and don't reach yu, and you don't git ennything but the aristokrasy, you hay got to diet, that's all.

   I kno ov thousands who are now dieting on aristokrasy.

   They say it tastes good.

   I presume they lie without knowing it.

   Not enny ov this sort ov aristokrasy for Joshua Billings.

   I never should think ov mixing munny and aristokrasy together; i will take mine seperate, if yu pleze.

   I don't never expekt tew be an aristokrat, nor an angel; i don't kno az i want tew be one.

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