Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor Volume I
of the Mohammedan Buddhists.

   "The bread tree grows abundantly. Its branches are well known to Europe and America under the familiar name of

    maccaroni

   . The smaller twigs are called

    vermicelli

   . They have a decided animal flavor, as may be observed in the soups containing them. Maccaroni, being tubular, is the favorite habitat of a very dangerous insect, which is rendered peculiarly ferocious by being boiled. The government of the island, therefore, never allows a stick of it to be exported without being accompanied by a piston with which its cavity may at any time be thoroughly

   swept out. These are commonly lost or stolen before the maccaroni arrives among us. It, therefore, always contains many of these insects, which, however, generally die of old age in the shops, so that accidents from this source are comparatively rare.

   "The fruit of the bread tree consists principally of hot rolls. The buttered-muffin variety is supposed to be a hybrid with the cocoanut palm, the cream found on the milk of the cocoanut exuding from the hybrid in the shape of butter, just as the ripe fruit is splitting, so as to fit it for the tea-table, where it is commonly served up with cold——"

   There—I don't want to read any more of it. You see that many of these statements are highly improbable. No, I shall not mention the paper.—

    The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table.

   The old Master was talking about a concert he had been to hear.

   —I don't like your chopped music anyway. That woman—she had more sense in her little finger than forty medical societies—Florence Nightingale—says that the music you

    pour

   out is good for sick folks, and the music you

    pound


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