irrellijon
in which ye live to th' lofty plane iv Baraboo,' he says. An' he sets
down on an aisy chair, an' his wife an' her friends come in an' they
inthrojooce Mrs. Dooley to th' modhren improvements iv th' corset an'
th' hat with th' blue bur-rd onto it, an' put shame into her because she
hasn't let her feet grow, while th' head mission'ry reads me a pome out
iv th'

    Northwesthren Christyan Advocate

   . 'Well,' says I, 'look
here, me good fellow,' I says. 'Me an' me people has occypied these here
primises f'r manny years,' I says, 'an' here we mean to stay,' I says.
'We're doin' th' best we can in th' matther iv gods,' says I. 'We have
thim cast at a first-rate foundhry,' I says, 'an' we sandpa-aper thim
ivry week,' says I. 'As f'r knowin' things,' I says, 'me people wrote
pomes with a markin' brush whin th' likes iv ye was r-runnin' ar-round
wearin' a short pelisse iv sheepskins an' batin' each other to death
with stone hammers,' says I. An' I'm f'r firin' him out, but bein' a
quite man I lave him stay."

   "Th' nex' day in comes a man with a suit iv clothes that looks like a
tablecloth in a section house, an' says he: 'Poor ignorant haythen,' he
says, 'what manner iv food d'ye ate?' he says. 'Rice,' says I, 'an' rats
is me fav'rite dish,' I says. 'Deluded wretch,' says he. 'I riprisint
Armour an' Company, an' I'm here to make ye change ye'er dite,' he says.
'Hinceforth ye'll ate th' canned roast beef iv merry ol' stock yards or
I'll have a file iv sojers in to fill ye full iv ondygistible lead,' he
says. An' afther him comes th' man with Aunt Miranda's Pan Cakes an'
Flaked Bran an' Ye'll-perish-if-ye-don't-eat-a-biscuit an' other
riprisintatives iv Westhern Civilization, an' I'm to be shot if I don't
take thim all."

   "Thin a la-ad runs down with a chain an' a small glass on three sticks
an' a gang iv section men that answers to th' name iv Casey, an' pro-
ceeds f'r to put down a railroad. 'What's this f'r?' says I. 'We ar-re
th' advance guard iv Westhren Civilization,' he says, 'an we're goin' to
give ye a railroad so ye can go swiftly to places that ye don't want to
see,' he says. 'A counthry that has no railroads is beneath contimpt,'
he says. 'Casey,' he says,'sthretch th' chain acrost yon graveyard,' he

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