I accept the position; but what am I

    exactly

   ? that's what I must clearly understand.

   Milburd explains—a sort of president of a Domestic Republic.

   Very good. Then how about the ladies?

   Chilvern says we must have a hostess. We all suppose, doubtfully, that we must. I ask, Won't that interfere with our arrangements?

   Boodels replies, that “we can't have any arrangements without a hostess.” He says, after some consideration, that he has got a Grandmother who might be useful. Chilvern, deferentially, proposes an Aunt of his own, but does not, as it were, press her upon us, on account of some infirmities of temper. I've got a half-sister who was a widow about the time I was born, and if she's not in India . . . .

   On the whole we think that if Boodels would have no objection to his grandmother coming. . . . .

   “Not in the least,” says Boodels. “I think she can stand a fortnight of it or so.”

   Carried nem. con. Boodels' grandmother to be lent for three weeks, and to be returned safely.

    Happy Thought (to suggest to ladies).

   —Why shouldn't there be a sisterhood of chaperons? Let somebody start it. “Oh!” says a young lady, “I can't go there wherever it is, because I can't go alone, and I haven't got a chaperon.”

   Now carry out the idea. The young lady goes to The Home (this sort of establishment is always a Home—possibly because people to be hired are never

    not

   at home),—well, she goes to the Home, sees the lady superioress or manageress, who asks her what sort of a chaperon she wants. She doesn't exactly know; but say, age about 50, cheerful disposition, polished manners.

   Good. Down comes photograph book.

   Young lady inspects chaperons and selects one.

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