If

   I may be permitted to offer a suggestion, the Crankisms should be read in the spirit in which sermons are listened to—with the object of discovering whom they hit. This will furnish amusement, for what is more entertaining than trying the cap on others?

   The settings speak for themselves; but the author desires to express his indebtedness to the artist for having infused life into and lent grace to dead bones of words, and for having, in many cases, given to those words a deeper and more subtle meaning than they themselves could be made to express.

   L. de V. M.

   May, 1901.

       Title Page

       The kisses of an enemy are deceitful, but not as deceitful as the advice of the friend who is always counseling you for your own good.

       The best and the worst in man respond only to woman’s touch—unfortunately for man.

       Men reason; women do not. Woman has no logic, and judging from the use it is to man, is better off without it.

       The present arrangement of society refuses to many the means to live, while forbidding them the right to die when they wish.

       Woman generally tries to attract a man’s eye, and then blames him for being caught by prettiness and superficial charms. But she rarely tries to appeal to his better self.

       The man who is pockmarked has most to say against freckles.

       Charity covers a multitude of sins which are committed in her name.

       Life is full of golden opportunities for doing what we do not want to do.

       Never compliment a woman and you will earn her undying enmity. Respect is rarely appreciated by her; but compliments are always at a premium, even counterfeits being accepted as greedily as the real.

       When we grow old we walk unfeelingly over that which we, in our youth, madly chased.

       The biggest fool is the one who thinks he can fool 

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