"Nozzle come off—nozzle come off!" The woman insisted, almost in tears.

   The clergyman gave it up, and continued the rite:

   "Nozzlecomeoff Smithers, I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost."

   *    *    *

   The aged negro clergyman announced solemnly from the pulpit:

   "Next Sabbath, dar will be a baptism in dis chu'ch, at half-pas' ten in de mawnin'. Dis baptism will be of two adults an' six adulteresses."

   The old colored man left the Methodist Church and joined the Baptist. Soon afterward, he encountered his former pastor, who inquired the reason for his change of sect. The old man explained fully.

   "Fust off, I was 'Piscopal, but I hain't learned, an' they done say the service so fast, I nebber could keep up, an' when I come out behin', dey all look, an' I'se 'shamed. So I jined the Methodis'. Very fine church, yes, suh. But dey done has 'Quiry meetin's. An', suh, us cullud folkses can't bear too much 'quirin' into. An' a man says to me, 'Why don't you jine de Baptis'? De Baptis', it's jest

    dip

   an' be done wid it! 'An' so I jined."

   The teacher directed the class to write a brief account of a baseball game. All the pupils were busy during the allotted time, except one little boy, who sat motionless, and wrote never a word. The teacher gave him an additional five minutes, calling them off one by one. The fifth minute had almost elapsed when the youngster awoke to life, and scrawled a sentence. It ran thus:

   "Rain—no game."

    Teacher:

   "In which of his battles was King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden slain?"

    Pupil:

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