you sank the third time, your whole past life passed before your eyes."

   "I presoom as how it did, mum," the sailor agreed. "But bein' as I had my eyes shut, I missed it."

   The recruit complained to the sergeant that he'd got a splinter in his finger.

   "Ye should have more sinse," was the harsh comment, "than to scratch your head."

   The crowd in the car was packed suffocatingly close. The timid passenger thought of pickpockets, and thrust his hand into his pocket protectingly. He was startled to encounter the fist of a fat fellow-passenger.

   "I caught you that time!" the fat man hissed.

   "Thief yourself!" snorted the timid passenger. "Leggo!"

   "Scoundrel!" shouted the fat man.

   "Help! Stop thief!" the little fellow spluttered, trying to wrench his hand from the other's clasp. As the car halted, the tall man next the two disputants spoke sharply:

   "I want to get off here, if you dubs will be good enough to take your hands out of my pocket."

   *    *    *

   During the Civil War, an old negro was deeply interested in the conflict, but showed no sign of wishing to take part in it. A white man questioned him one day:

   "The men of the North and South are killing one another on your account. Why don't you pitch in and fight yourself?"

   "Has you-all ever seen two dogs fightin' over a bone?" the negro demanded.

   "Many times, of course," was the answer.

   The old negro chuckled as he said:

   "Did you ever see de bone fight?"

   "Well!—no!"

   "Dat's all! I'se de bone."

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