sermon which had dealt with the sheep and the goats.

   "Me," he concluded, "I don't know which I am. Mother calls me her lamb, and father calls me kid."

   *    *    *

   Ability to look on two sides of a question is usually a virtue, but it may degenerate into a vice. Thus, a visitor found his bachelor friend glumly studying an evening waistcoat. When inquiry was made, this explanation was forthcoming:

   "It's quite too soiled to wear, but really, it's not dirty enough to go to the laundry. I can't make up my mind just what I should do about it."

   The new play was a failure. After the first act, many left the theatre; at the end of the second, most of the others started out. A cynical critic as he rose from his aisle seat raised a restraining hand.

   "Wait!" he commanded loudly. "Women and children first!"

   The group of dwellers at the seaside was discussing the subject of dreams and their significance. During a

   pause, one of the party turned to a little girl who had sat listening intently, and asked:

   "Do you believe that dreams come true?"

   "Of course, they do," the child replied firmly. "Last night I dreamed that I went paddling—and I had!"

   "Oh, have you heard? Mrs. Blaunt died to-day while trying on a new dress."

   "How sad! What was it trimmed with?"

   *    *    *

   The son of the house had been reading of an escaped lunatic.

   "How do they catch lunatics?" he asked.

   The father, who had just paid a number of bills, waxed sarcastic:

   "With enormous straw hats, with little bits of ones, with silks and laces and feathers and jewelry, and so on and so on."

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