second was the going to war to kill one another, when if they would only wait, they must surely die naturally. The third was that they should run after women, when, if they did not do so, the women would surely run after them.

   The Arctic explorer at a reception on his return gave an informal talk concerning his experiences. He explained that a point further north would have been reached, if the dogs had not given out at a critical time.

   A lady, who had followed the explorer's remarks carefully, ventured a comment as the speaker paused:

   "But I thought those Esquimaux dogs were actually tireless."

   The explorer hesitated, and cleared his throat before answering.

   "I spoke," he elucidated, "in a—er—culinary sense."

   *    *    *

   The young mother asked the man who supplied her with milk if he kept any calves, and smiled pleasedly when he said that he did.

   "Then," she continued brightly, "bring me a pint of calf's milk every day. I think cow's milk is too strong for baby."

   The highly efficient housewife bragged that she always rose early, and had every bed in the house made before anybody else in the house was up.

   The master directed that the picture should be hung on the east wall; the mistress preferred the west wall.

   The servant drove the nail where his master directed, but when he was left alone in the room he drove a nail in the other wall.

   "That," he said to himself, "will save my lugging the steps up here again to-morrow, when he has come around to agreeing with her."

   The foreman of a Southern mill, who was much troubled by the shiftlessness of his colored workers, called sharply to two of the men slouching past him.

   "Hi, you! where are you going?"

   "Well, suh, boss," one of them answered, "we is goin' to de mill wid dis-heah plank."

   "Plank? What plank? Where's the plank?" the foreman demanded.

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