bed-bug letter."

   *    *    *

   A worker in the steel mills applied direct to Mr. Carnegie for a holiday in which to get married. The magnate inquired interestedly concerning the bride:

   "Is she tall or short, slender or plump?"

   The prospective bridegroom answered seriously:

   "Well, sir, I'm free to say, that if I'd had the rollin' of her, I sure would have given her three or four more passes."

   The hired man on a New England farm went on his first trip to the city. He returned wearing a scarf pin set with at least four carats bulk of radiance. The jewelry dazzled the rural belles, and excited the envy of the other young men. His employer bluntly asked if it was a real diamond.

   "If it ain't," was the answer, "I was skun out o' half a dollar."

   The kindly lady accosted the little boy on the beach, who stood with downcast head, and grinding his toes

   into the sand and looking very miserable and lonely indeed.

   "Haven't you anybody to play with?" she inquired sympathetically.

   The boy shook his head forlornly, as he explained:

   "I have one friend—but I hate him!"

   *    *    *

   The clergyman on his vacation wrote a long letter concerning his traveling experiences to be circulated among the members of the congregation. The letter opened in this form:

     "Dear Friends:

     "I will not address you as ladies and gentlemen, because I know you so well."

   An American tourist in France found that he had a two hours' wait for his train at a junction, and set out to explore the neighborhood. He discovered at last that he was lost, and could not find his way back 

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