The Silly Syclopedia
politics deep enough to stay there and make expenses he took a slight trip to Europe.

   Two weeks later he was on his way home to his beloved land on the good ship "Kaiser Wilhelm, the Grocer."

   The Stars and Stripes seemed to wave a welcome to him as he approached the hospitable shores of Fire Island.

   "It is good, so good to breathe once more the air of Liberty!" said the Secretary, and ten minutes later the "Kaiser Wilhelm, the Grocer" was at her dock.

   "Ah! how happy I am to be once more where Freedom reigns!" said the Secretary as he walked proudly down the gangway plank.

   "Wait!"

   The speaker was a short-set man with a thick face and a wide voice.

   The Secretary paled his cheeks.

   "Who are you?"

   "I am an American citizen; leave me pass!" exclaimed the Secretary.

   "So am I," said the man with a thick face; "and nothing passes me. You have been to Europe, have you not?"

   "Do you think I used the 'Kaiser Wilhelm the Grocer' to come from Staten Island?" asked the Secretary.

   The man laughed, loosely.

   "Swear!" he said.

   "At you?" inquired the Secretary.

   "Swear you are not a smuggler," said the roan.

   "I ought to kick you for such an insult," said the Secretary.

   "Business before pleasure," said the man; "swear that you are not a robber."

   "I swear," said the Secretary; "inwardly, outwardly, earnestly and pictorially, I swear!"


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