"A vermouth cocktail," said the Secretary.

   "Domestic or imported?"

   "Neither; the Captain treated," said the Secretary.

   "It looks to me much like foreign spirits," said the man.

   "Do you wish to open me further and see?" inquired the Secretary.

   Then the man waded into the Secretary's other trunks, two-stepped over his negligee shirts, waltzed through his waist-coats and did a polka amidst the ruins of his dress suit.

   "What is the verdict?" said the Secretary after the battle was over.

   "Not guilty, but you might be," said the man, smiling briefly.

   As the Secretary walked out the Stars and Stripes

   seemed to bow politely at him and whisper with a voice slightly sarcastic: "You for the seat away back!"

   "Some day," said the Secretary, "I will jump into politics so far that my trunk will always be a dark secret to the Custom Housers!"

   And he did it.

   From the life of the Secretary we learn the lesson that there is much Liberty in this country, but, incidentally, there are a couple of bald spots where it is missing.

   If you don't believe me come home from Europe some day by way of the Custom House.

   Do you know that a wise man can sometimes be a fool and get away with it?

   Don't go among doers if you don't want to be did.

   Duty calls and finds most men holding nothing but a four-flush.

   Don't try to be a stinger if you don't want to get stung.

   The letter of the alphabet which always runs fourth.

   DAISY. A twin sister to a peach. See

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