GAG. A joke rendered insensible by a third-rail comedian.

   GAS. A substance we make light of until the bill comes in.

    "You may hide your light under a bushel, but you'll get a bill from the gas company just the same

   ." (Shakespeare, page 9.)

   GAS BILL. Something that comes in to put us out.

   GAS METER. A bit of machinery invented by Ananias in order to please Saphira and keep the household supplied with lies while the old man was down in the grocery store.

   GET-RICH-QUICK. An aquarium for suckers. A place where poor people go to get poorer.

   GEE-GEE. A horse by any other name will run as fast.

   GENIAL. A guy that never was known to buy.

   GENIUS. Something we have in

    our

   family—if you don't believe me, come and hear our little boy recite.

   GENT. Two-thirds of a gentleman.

   GENTLEMAN. A title which many a man claims because the public hasn't time to prove him otherwise.

   GERM. See

    microbes

   . In order to see microbes you'll have to get a magnifying glass.

   GOSH. A Yankee synonym for dad bust it! See

    dag my buttons!

   See any Reub.

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