The Silly Syclopedia
   ABSINTHE. The national headache of the French. A jag-builder which is mostly wormwood and bad dreams. A liquid substance which when applied to a "holdover" revivifies it and enables its owner to sit up and notice the bar-tender.

   ABSTAIN. The stepladder which leads up to the water wagon.

   ABSTEMIOUS. Having an aisle seat on the water wagon.

   ACROBAT. A fellow of infinite chest.

   ACCUMULATE. To collect or bring together. For example: "He borrowed two dollars from his wife, whereupon he went out and

    accumulated

   a bunch of boozerine." (Carlyle's Heroes and Hero Worship.)

   A THING OF BEAUTY. A joy forever until we get used to it.

   ALCOHOL. The forefather of a hold-over. Boozerine, in the raw state. From the Latin words

    alco

   and

    haul

   , meaning "he is soused to the booby hatches,

    haul

   him to the

    alcove

   ." (See Lord Macaulay's Jags of Ancient Rome.)

   AMBITION. The only disease which laziness can cure.

   AMUSEMENT. The hard work a man does on the golf links to give himself an appetite for sausage links.


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