This little book is not supposed to contain any new information. It is made up of plain observations concerning people who live just around the corner. If the reader will bear in mind that only the people who live around the corner are discussed in this volume, there will be no chance for painful misunderstandings. I have no desire to rub the wrong way anyone who proves his true friendship by purchasing a copy of this Work. It may be advisable to explain that these Fables are written in the colloquial American language. The vocabulary employed is one that has become familiar to the ear, although it is seldom seen on the printed page. In other words, this volume contains a shameless amount of slang. If any part of it is unintelligible to the reader, he should be glad that he has escaped what seems to be an epidemic. THE AUTHOR. The Periodical Souse, the Never-Again Feeling and the Ride On the Sprinkling Cart, 13 The Kind of Music That Is Too Good for Household Use, 23 The One or Two Points of Difference Between Learning and Learning How, 26 The Night-Watch and the Would-Be Something Awful, 37 The Attenuated Attorney Who Rang In the Associate Counsel, 46 What Father Bumped Into at the Culture Factory, 54 The Search for the Right House and How Mrs. Jump Had Her Annual Attack,