of there heds, were there hare used to grow. The gals then go thru a lot of moshuns, dansin the racket, and Gussy sets 'em up.

   "The furst scene of Act III. is in Henryettur's privat boodywar. She walks round, holdin a big sunflower in her hand, and calls it to witness that if her dare Gussy don't make up his mind purty soon to marry her, the tender thred wot holds her to this mundain spere will soon cum to a too utterly utter, suddint round turn. Then she whispers sumthin to herself, and jumps bout a foot, and xclaims, in a anty-assthetik voice: 'I will do it! By the misterious hare, hidden in the opake depths of 10-cent-a-plate ice-creme, I will do it!'

   "The scene then changes to a rehursal in the theattur, with Gussy looking at the bailey. All on a suddint a gal comes dancin out on tip-toes and movin her hands round like she was playin' skippin'-the-rope. Her close is purty, ony they're a good deal more shrunken than wot the other gals had on, and her lower xtremer-ties look like she was smugglin' cotton from New Orleans. Gussy then gets mashed on her rite away, and she don't 'pare to mind it a bit, cos she sot rite down on his knee, and they begun a-talkin' awful soft. Purty soon she jumped 'bout six feet, wen Gussy shoved a pin inter her stockins. Then he reckernized her as Henryettur, and the bailey bring on the happey denewment act, by balleyin' round wile Gussy and Henryettur 'mbrace and kiss each other, and the property man lifts up his hands and sez:

   "Henryettur, you had better Go put on your cloesietter, Cos you are too utter utter, Drest all in your hosieryetter; Gussy, you must let her, let her, And I'm sure you'll like her better Wen you've settur, settur, settur, And we've drunk to your dudetter."

   The edittur was lookin outer the winder this mornin, wen, who should he spie cummin up the offis steps, but Miss Samanthy Longtung, that's my Sundy skule teecher, wots sweet forty and aint never had a mash. He sed, he guessed he'd better not be to home, so I'd hav to stand her off, cos she'd cum to collect the quarter, wot he'd forgot to pay, wen he eat that plate of injy-rubber oyster supe at the church festival, bout a yere ago.

   Wen Miss Longtung cum in, she reck-ernized me, and congratulated me on enterin such a onherabel perfesshun. Then she kissed me rite on the mouth, and sed, she wished I was growd up to be a big man. Then she asst me if Mr. Gilley was in, and wen I told her "no," she sed she was orful sorry, cos she'd cum to collect a littel bill, wot she's gone responsibel for, and 

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