."

   This put everybodie in good humer agen, and, after settin up the drinks for the crowd, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson went out to the country to hire a farm and sum wimmin to take care of the baby's till homes culd be secured for 'em.

   I guess him and his wife's sickened on baby's enyway, cos I hurd him tellin the hotel clurk that they'd had all the baby's round them that they'd ever have, by gumbo.

   And now, Mr. Diry, I must close for to-nite, cos I've got to smoke the 25-center wot the religus edittur giv me for the laff he'd had outer my joke on Mr. Wilson.

   Last nite Mr. Gilley giv me a invyta-shun to the fancy masque ball, wot all New York's ben torkin bout for the last six weaks. It was to be a toney affaire, so wen I got hum I went all thru my wardrobe, but culdn't find nothin fancyer than the cloes I wore wen I painted the back fense at our house red with green trimmins. I seen they was hardly prackterkel, cos there was a feint oder of cows & horses clingin to them wot the heet of the ball room mite develop in a way wot wuldn't be satisfacktorie to myself or the delercate knoeses of the other aristocrazey present.

   So I put em away with a sy, and had jest bout maid up my mind that the other ballers wuldn't be treeted to my distingushed presense, wen I remembered the box of cloes wot our dinin room gal, wot was purty fly, left, wen she loped with the buggler, & all ma's silver spoons. It was ony the wurk of a minnit to pry open the lid, and a dazzlin array of butyful & fancy does met my vishun. Then I shed all my things and commensed the arduus wurk of dressin. I say arduus, cos it was parrylisin, discom-fertin, & puzzlin. I useter wonder y ma tuk so long to dress, wen she was goin eny-where, and pa was swarin and hurryin her up. Now, I wunder no longer cos I kno how tis myself, and after my own xperiense in pins, buttins, strings, laces, garters, and things, I shall ever look upon wimmin as martirs. The dress was jest short enuf to show my blu striped silk stockins, and bout two inshes of mbroidery. The stock-ins was a littel too big, so I had to fill em up with hankercheefs. The waste jest but-tened up on me, at the waste line, but it tuk half a dozen piller cases, and a cuppel of sheets, to stuff the upper part of the front. I had to put a reef in crinny line, cos it showd, and it tuk ma's pach-wurk quilt to mak my bussel big enuf for stile.

   Wen I was all thru dressin, I looked like a Fifth avenue daysy, every particle of my dress was complete, only 

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