had a bottel of perfume in my pocket, and jest 'fore we left the restyrant, I put sum on the gals handkercheefs, then I hawled off my false mustash, and soon Maria seen, I was her Georgie, and begun a cryin lik her hart wuld brak. I felt sorry for her, but I told her to dry up her eyes. I guess I must giv them the perfume out of the assyfitity bottel, cos, soon as she rubbed her face you never smelt such a overpourin smell in all your life, we had to keep em at arms length, all the way hum, and if we'd ben the Zar of Russher, and Queen Victoria, combined, the peeple wouldnt hav givin us more room on the side walk. I felt sorry for them, cos they cryed, and felt so bad, all the way home, and, if I coulder got close enuf to Maria, without bein smuthered I'd kissed and made it all up. Its a blessin that her ma and pa's got catarrh orful bad, or there mite be war in her house.

   I'm goin to send her the follerin note in the morning, and next time I go to see her I'll fix up a littel, cos a fellow can't blame a girl for goin back on him if he don't think enuff of her to dress up neet:

   "The lady wot dropped a artickel of warin appairel in the Post Offis, last even-in, can have them by callin on the Devil at this offis and provin property."

   The abuv is a advertisement wot I had put in the

    Buster

   this mornin, and all day long I've ben kep busy attendin to the ansurs. The fust lady wot cum in had dropt a plume outer her hat. She giv me a full descripshun of it, wot it cost, and said she knowed it was hers wot I'd found; and then I showed her the artickel and axt her if that was it. She blushed up orful red, and sailed outer the offis like I'd insulted her. Yesterday muster ben a orful bad day for wimmin loosin things in the Post Offis, cos there's bout two hundred ben to the offis. Sum lost there teeth, uthers there bangs, clokes, slippers, overshoes, gloves, skurts, hankercheefs, bussels, and most everything wot a woman could pile on her; and I had to show every one of them the artickel wot was found, and axt them if that was it, and, curius enuf, every one went off mad and indignant. On towards nite I was jest beginnin to wonder wether, in a case like this, onhesty was the best pollysee, or wether it wouldnt of payed better for me to hav tuk em home to ma; wen a madin ladie, of doutful age, come in to the offis, and sed: "Yung man, have they got C. D. marked on the band." I sed: "Yes, marm."

   "Well, they must be mine, cos my name's Carryline Duncan, & I alwus 

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