Everyman

   .

   When the girls admire him a young man takes it as a matter of course; but when a widow selects him for her attention he thrills with the knowledge that he is being stamped with the approval of a connoisseur.

   Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

   If Achilles' only vulnerable spot was in his heel, then his vanity must have gone to his feet, instead of to his head.

   You can't expect a woman to accomplish much in this life, since she is busy every minute of it either trying to

    get

   some man, trying to

    get along with

   one, or trying to

    get rid of

   one.

   A man's wife is something like his teeth: He never thinks of her unless she happens to bother him.

   Life is a tale that is "told": the monk tells his beads, the seer tells fortunes, the lover tells lies—and a woman tells everything.

   To collect books is a sign of culture, to collect jewels a sign of wealth, but to collect husbands is a sign of paresis.

   A modern bachelor makes love with his hand on his pulse and his eye on the clock.

   Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

   A sympathetic woman is like a rose which a man wears over his heart; a stupid woman is like a cabbage which he keeps in his kitchen; but a merely "clever" woman is like a dahlia—he knows he ought to admire her, but he had just as lief do so from a distance.

   While a woman is weeping over the ghost of a dead love in the 

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