coat-lapel and beg him to "Tell it again!"
Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony—but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
There are many times when a woman would gladly drop her husband, if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.
Alas! In choosing a husband, it seems that you've always got to decide between something tame and uninteresting, like a gold-fish, and something wild and fascinating, like a mountain goat.
Perhaps the first time a young man actually realizes that he is married is when he catches himself looking at other women with that strange, new, wistful sort of interest.
It is at once the mission and the punishment of the flirt to go through life tapping the hearts of men, that they may overflow—for other women.
The sweetest things in a woman's life are her "yesterdays"—the sweetest things in a man's life are his "tomorrows."
The man who is fondly looking for a perfect angel almost invariably ends by marrying some little devil who knows how to persuade him that her horns are merely the signs of a budding halo.
Woman is to most men what "heart-failure" is to the doctors—something that it is always convenient to blame any old thing on.
"The mind has a thousand eyes—the heart but one!"—and that usually goes fast asleep, after marriage.
Philosophy is the only kind of "sweetening" with which to make life palatable.
Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
An "idealist" is a man who is content to worship a woman from afar—and let some gross, unselfish materialist marry her and support her.
Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief.
France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America."
No doubt, even Solomon told each of his 700 wives that he had merely
thought
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