"second."

   Never laugh at him. Woman is supposed to be the only human joke and man the only laughing animal—except the hyena.

   Never

    cry

   before him. A woman's tears soon wash all the color out of a man's love; after the third deluge they have no power to move him—except to move him out of the house.

   Never threaten him, scold him nor argue with him.

    Act!

   A woman's arguments affect a man as water does a cat. He simply waits for them to dry up—and then he goes out and does as he pleases.

   Never doubt his word—even when you

    know

   he is

    lying

   . A husband is like religion: to give you any real comfort, he must be taken with blind faith.

   Never put him on a leash. The dog or the husband that has to be tied is always the one that eventually has to be advertised in the "lost" columns.

   Never forget that marriage should be a privilege, not a prison; home a refectory, not a reformatory; and wives jolliers, and not jailers.

   Hanging on a man's word may flatter him, but hanging on his neck merely frightens him.

   Every gay dog has his day—after.

   One may be loved forever! It is the vain desire to go on being a "heart-breaker" after one's flirting days are over that constitutes the real tragedy of age.

   A man regards a woman's love first as an unattainable dream, then as a boon, then as a blessing, then as a right, then as a matter-of-course—and, last, as a punishment.

   A man's idea of "preserving the unities" is to 

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