once they pulled the theatre up, and thar wuz a lot of folks having a regular family quarrel. I knowed that wasn't any of my business, and I sort of felt uneasy like; but none of the rest of the folks seemed to mind it any, so I calculated I'd see how it cum out, though my hands sort of itched to get hold of one feller, 'cause I could see if he would jest go 'way and tend to his own business thar wouldn't be any quarrel. Wall, jest then a young feller handed me a piece of paper what told all about the theater doin's, and I got to lookin' at that and I noticed on it whar it sed thar wuz five years took place 'tween the fust part and the second part. I knowed durned well I wouldn't have time to wait and see the second part, so I got up and went out. Wall, them theater doin's jest put me in mind of somethin' what happened down hum on the last day of school. You see the school teacher got all the big boys and the big girls, and the boys they read essays and the girls recited poetry. One of the Skinner girls recited a piece that sooted me fust rate. Neer as I kin remember it went somethin' like this:

   I liked that; thar wuz somethin' so touchin' about it. Then the school teacher he got all the girls in the 'stronomy class and he dressed them up to represent the different kinds of planits. He had one girl to represent the sun—she wuz red-headed; and another one to represent the moon, and another one fer Mars, and another one fer Jerupetir, and it looked mighty fine, and everythin' wuz a gettin' along fust rate 'til old Jim Lawson 'lowed he could make an improvement on it; so he went out and got a colord girl, and he wanted to sot her between the sun and the moon and make an eklips. And as usual he busted up the whole doin's.

   I USED to hear the summer boarders tell a whole lot about a place here in New York kept by Mr. Delmonico. Thar's bin about ten thousand summer boarders down to Punkin Centre one time and another, and I guess I've carried the bundles and stood the grumblin' from about all of them; and when anyone of 'em would find fault with anythin' I used to ast him whar he boarded at in New York, and they all told me at Mr. Delmonico's; so I'd cum to the conclusion that Mr. Delmonico must hav a right smart purty good sized tavern; and I sed to mother—now mother, when I git down to New York that's whar I'm goin' to board, at Mr. Delmonico's.

   Wall, I got a feller to show me whar it wuz, and when I got on the inside I don't s'pose I wuz ever more sot back in all my life; guess you could have knocked my eyes off with a club; they stuck out like bumps on a log. Wall sir, they had flowers and birds 

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